Rob Fox

Rob Fox

—Rob is a satanist and full time student living in Portland.—

On Queer Satanism

Satanism works for me because, in the literal sense of the word, my queerness extends far beyond my identity as a gay man. In years long since passed, I was a faithful member of an evangelical cult in Kansas City, where I ardently attempted to get Jesus to “fix” my gayness, the trait I had been taught to blame for both the mountains of suffocating depression, and the neuroses that it took years of therapy and recovery to begin to rise above, which were initiated well before, but centrally exacerbated by growing up gay and somewhere fuzzier than I can yet explain on the gender spectrum in a small town in the Texas panhandle, where literally about 20% of the town attended the money hungry evangelical megachurch I was raised and sent to middle and high school in.

In other words, with the exception of rare and small glimpses in my life, my queerness has expanded to mean that I have never quite fit-in; I am a sub cultural outlaw, covered in tattoos and some days dressed in all black,  other days dressed in tank tops or flannels or other button-downs; and all the while  alternating in musical tastes between waif-like blonde femmes from England crooning folk melodies, or gay stereotypes and pop hits or classics, to skinny angsty sometimes-screaming white boys with guitars; in all, it’s not just that I am helplessly and perpetually all over the map, my queerness extends to mean that no matter what, even when I have managed to nestle into a social niche of one form or another, it never seems to last for long.

TST was my introduction to Satanism, but I have reason to believe that a religion which revolves around the mythology of the ultimate misfit-miscreant, and champion of both the human will and beautiful inalienable right to stray from the socially prescribed path is finally the appropriate fit. Despite the disabilities I acquired three years ago, I’m already like the people here,  we’re already on the same page in more ways than I’ve even taken a full accounting of.

For instance, the seven tenets add a combination dimension of humanism, empathy, and dedication to scientific reasoning that just calling myself an atheist or secular humanist could never quite fully summarize. There is no need for additional explanation to this community I’m now a part of; that on top of my steadfast rejection of theistic dogmas, there is an added level of belief that people fucking deserve to be taken care of and to have access to live healthy and happy lives, simply because we’re all here on this earth at the same time, and we all know(some immeasurably more so than others) how absolutely shit that can be sometimes, but finding a community can make it easier, and obviously my queerness means that for me, that community is The Satanic Temple, where there’s also lots of other queer folks to keep my flaming little heart happy, but we amicably span the full range from very hetero, to bi, to pan, to otherwise generally queer, to transgender, cisgender, and genderqueer.